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Ron Berk

The Johns Hopkins University
PhD, Professor Emeritus
Columbia, MD
RON BERK, PhD, is Professor Emeritus, Biostatistics and Measurement, and former Assistant Dean for Teaching at The Johns Hopkins University and a Fellow in the Oxford Society of Scholars. Ron became a professor because he was too big to be a Radio City Rockette and his stint as Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body double got really boring. He even tried TV. Ron could be seen as the “out-of-focus guy sitting next to a girl eating a salad” in an after-school special on test taking. He retired from the seamy underbelly of academe 12.792 years ago to enter the Federal Witness Protection Program under the nom de plume Jason Bourne. He served 30 years of a life term, where he mentored numerous faculty and students, all of whom are in prison or on probation with ankle bracelets. Ron now regales young whippersnapper profs in the glory days of chalkboards. He has presented 400+ keynotes in 42 states, 15 countries, and 3 planets. He destroyed scores of trees and shrubbery by publishing 14 books (3 on humor), 175 journal articles, and 300 blogs. These products reflect his life-long commitment to mediocrity and his professional motto: “Go for the Bronze!” (See www.ronberk.com)